Well, things are progressing. We're having a problem with expectations--he expects me to be the Domme of his fantasies, and I...well, I'm me. After 10 years, you might think he'd have more reasonable expectations of who I am and what I'm capable of, but I think that's all gone by the wayside in all of the excitement and the newness of this change.
Here's what I think. If he wants me to be the one in charge, the one who makes the rules, then it seems like what he wants me to be, or how he wants me to do this, are relatively immaterial, right? Because this isn't just some acting job I'm doing, this isn't pretend, this is my life. This is the structure of our family. This is who I am and how I am.
I don't bark orders. I don't like to nag. I'm not going to whip him constantly, or carry a paddle around in my purse. I'm going to tell him what needs doing and tell him when it needs to be done--and I will make sure that my time frame is reasonable. And then the ball is in his court. He either does it and gets it done on time and receives my praise and affection, or he does not and faces my wrath.
Right now we're working with some honor-based chastity. We're not willing to purchase and use a male chastity device...yet. I like the idea of keeping him chaste on his own willpower and self-restraint, not because he physically cannot act in a way to be less than chaste. It seems more submissive if he has to do it on his own.
We'll see how practical that is in time, though! It seems to be minimally more effective than some of the other things I'd tried (nagging, spanking, humiliation), so maybe this is our ticket. I might need to be a little less permissive--I've allowed him to touch himself provided he does not orgasm, but I think that needs to stop. Currently I've been denying him just until his task is complete, but he's working a task tonight that I do not think he'll finish. If he does not, he'll get another week of no lovin' and another night to finish. Every night he fails me, he gets another week.
We're still having problems with laziness, so I've got some ideas for some really creative punishments that I got from http://www.shemakestherules.com and I'm sure I'll be trying those out soon. And we're having some issues with Mr. X sending me links and such to tips and advice on how to lead as a female. I know he's well intentioned, but it's going to have to stop. It feels like he's trying to "top from the bottom" and I can't have that. It's either my way (which is what he says he wants) or it's no go.
Anyway, progress! Little by little!