Diminished Capacity

It's possible that Mr. X thinks I'm an idiot. Or he'd at least LIKE to think that about me. But, I don't think it takes a rocket scientist to get the idea that he's only into being in an FLR when it suits him. I'll point out a few things that are leading me to this conclusion.

1. Yesterday morning, he was all over referring to me as "Miss X" and being super respectful. Oh--wait, did I forget to point out that he wanted a little bedroom play? And that once we got up and started our day, there was no more "Miss X", and we were back to our normal disrespectful "Yup" and "Sure" and "Whatever"? Don't think the connection was lost on me. I didn't even let him come, and he's STILL treating me like shit. He STILL only busts out the pseudo-respect when he thinks he stands to gain something.
   
2. He watched a movie last night that I didn't want to join him in watching. Wait, this requires backstory: He put our oldest child to bed last night, and while he was headed to her room, I advised him to not fall asleep on her floor, but to come back down so we could spend some time with each other. Also, I had the baby, and he needed to get her to bed, too. I waited over an hour, and then I gave up on him. I took the baby and went to bed. He then spent some time doing something on the computer and then came upstairs and WOKE ME UP to ask if I wanted to watch this movie. He watched it alone. At any rate, the movie was called Quarantine, and when I asked him what it was about this morning, he said "Quarantine" in a tone of voice that made me want to punch him, and went back to sleep.
3. The home maintenance tasks he agreed to take on himself and complete in a timely fashion are not being done. I need to point this out again: taking charge of the chores was HIS idea. He submitted a schedule of chores to me that HE would do, on a schedule that he submitted for my approval. None of those tasks got done. None of them are getting done. He is doing NOTHING that he promised he would do. This is a pattern we've apparently salvaged from our "vanilla" relationship...and boy did I ever hope it'd go far, far away.
   
4. I asked him to both post an intro at She Makes The Rules (which, I might add, is a site HE directed me to for information. I've become very active there, and I enjoy the people. I think it's not too much to ask for him to be involved in the site) and to post a blog entry here since he has yet to do so. I asked that he make his participation at SMTR a weekly occurrence at first, but advised that I'd want to see him participate more as he became more comfortable there. He posted one intro post there and has yet to post here. Oh, wait, it gets better--I asked him to do this BEFORE he watched a movie about a week ago, only to find neither request done, but the movie sure got watched.
5. My requests for daily showering and tooth brushing are being completely ignored. He is not putting on clean clothing daily. In fact, on each instance when we've come inside from swimming at the pool, he's failed to change out of his swim trunks, and simply wears them as pants.
6. I made a rule that he is to acknowledge that I am speaking to him verbally--as in, if I say something to him, I require a verbal response. He isn't doing this, which makes me feel ignored and disrespected.
7. His shitty attitude in general is pissing me off. I didn't like this sort of thing when we were in a "Regular" relationship, and it's making me even madder now.
   

What I'm getting here is that he thinks it's fun to play around with this when he wants to. He's yanking me around like I'm the one on a leash, and I have to say, I'm starting to lose some respect for him. I also don't really care if this embarrasses him or not--that I just posted on the internet that my husband cannot be bothered to bathe daily or to brush his teeth even one time a day--he stood next to me last night at the grocery store, talking to me, and my eyes literally watered from his breath. I don't understand why he thinks I'd want to be intimately involved with someone who clearly has so little self-respect. If nothing else, he should consider that *I* value myself enough to have higher standards than to want to kiss someone whose breath could clear a room.

And I also kind of hope it does embarrass him a little--I hope he can look at those things and say "She's right. I'm fucking this up." but I really don't think that Mr. X is capable of that level of introspection. Also? He's so completely unreliable that I wouldn't believe it if he DID tell me that he was wrong and he'd change. He'd have to show me, and Mr. X fails in that capacity every time we have issues. The laziness is completely unbelievable--there's rarely any action on his part, just a lot of hot air and meaningless rhetoric.

HE brought this idea (me being dominant) to my attention. HE wanted to do it. I said I would--and I'm positive that a lot of other women would have run for the hills. *I* did not. This was not my idea, it was HIS, so why am i getting so much freaking attitude about it?! I'm not forcing him to do anything he hasn't said he wanted OR anything that he hasn't suggested himself.

And, you know, I had this idea to do this scene for him next Saturday, when we already have a sitter for the girls, but it's too much work to do for such an asshole. This is ALL too much work to do for someone who's either too fucking lazy to live the way he SAYS he wants to live, or who's just too untrustworthy to be a man of his word. I'm about an inch away from doing what any smart person would do--I'm going to take my toys and go home and let him play by himself. I didn't enjoy being ignored and being second to his all-pervasive desire to sleep his ENTIRE life away BEFORE we started this, and it's even less fun when he's asking me to give him orders and then ignoring the fuck out of them.

This is bullshit. I'm furious and I'm completely over it.

Unsubmissive Sub

So, I don't get it.

If this is what Mr. X SWEARS that he wants--has sworn up and down on several nights, in fact--then why is it so hard? Why doesn't he just do it?

It's been nearly two weeks since we started this "experiment", and I have one thing to note:

Our kitchen is not yet clean.

Our kitchen is roughly five foot square--no, I'm not kidding. It's not so much a kitchen as a really useful hallway from the garage to the dining room. It's five square feet of space and it's not clean yet.

So, if he wants me to give him tasks, things to do that will please me, why isn't this done? I've punished, I've told him he can't "take care of business" until it's done, I even tried to forbid him from watching the ER finale (Mr. X is an ER fan), and still, it's not done. I've asked nicely, I've tried asking flirtatiously. I've tried NOT asking and just leaving him to his own devices. I've tried nagging and not nagging.

Don't get me wrong, progress has been made. The fridge is clean enough to eat off the shelves (although now it is somewhat more on the empty side than is strictly useful) and portions of the counters are clean as can be. But there is a hideous abundance of dishes to be washed, the inside of the microwave is an environmental hazard, the new over-the-range microwave is still sitting in a box in the garage and the floor (which is supposed to be clean enough for him to eat off of) is STICKY. Words can't express how gross I find that.

No, the only way Mr. X will clean the kitchen is if I throw a magnificent fit and sit in the living room and supervise. Which is what is happening tonight.

And seriously? This is a bunch of crap. I'm not his mother, I ought not to have to constantly micromanage and supervise him. To me, if this is so difficult for him to do, then this is NOT what he wants. But he insists that he does want it.

I'm at a loss. Frankly, I'm not equipped to deal with this nonsense. To me, you act in accordance to your desires, right? If I want a sandwich, I make a sandwich. Then, when I want it, not two weeks later when someone bullies me into making it. If I have to sit on top of him and nag him and be a bitch, then this does not meet my needs. It does not make me happy.

It's starting to feel somewhat like Mr. X wants a Mama. This is the only thing I've really asked of him in two weeks. Just get the kitchen clean. If he'd have done it in a timely fashion, I'd have found another task, which is what he says he wants me to do.

And really, the kitchen wasn't a swampy hellhole to start with. It was messy, and it was in need of a solid spring cleaning. I get that the fridge took him a while, I respect that. But the reason this isn't done is because there was just SO MUCH to do, it's because Mr. X has been LAZY.

Maybe he can explain it to anyone reading in the comments section, because I'm at a loss.

Obedience Training.

Mr. X has been singularly disobedient as of late. In the past four days, he has performed (in a mediocre fashion) on only two evenings. The other two evenings, he's decided that it's more important to be lazy and sleep. Thus, our kitchen is only halfway functional and my legs are reaching an itchiness level that is nearly intolerable. Not to mention that he spent the entire day at home today and did not accomplish one single thing that I had asked of him!

One would think that he'd be more inclined to stay in my good graces, but he is clearly not so inclined. I had planned to have him complete his dish cleaning duties while wearing nothing but a pair of my panties, but that no longer seems severe enough. I will have to consider what to do and update you on that later. There will be pictures, of course. I'll blur his face, but that's to protect me more than him.

At any rate, part of his punishment is going to be writing sentences. Since he is acting like a child, I will treat him as one.

1) I will not disobey Miss X.
2) I will not disobey Miss X.
3) I will not disobey Miss X.
4) I will not disobey Miss X.
5) I will not disobey Miss X.
6) I will not disobey Miss X.
7) I will not disobey Miss X.
8) I will not disobey Miss X.
9) I will not disobey Miss X.
10) I will not disobey Miss X.
11) I will not disobey Miss X.
12) I will not disobey Miss X.
13) I will not disobey Miss X.
14) I will not disobey Miss X.
15) I will not disobey Miss X.
16) I will not disobey Miss X.
17) I will not disobey Miss X.
18) I will not disobey Miss X.
19) I will not disobey Miss X.
20) I will not disobey Miss X.
21) I will not disobey Miss X.
22) I will not disobey Miss X.
23) I will not disobey Miss X.
24) I will not disobey Miss X.
25) I will not disobey Miss X.
26) I will not disobey Miss X.
27) I will not disobey Miss X.
28) I will not disobey Miss X.
29) I will not disobey Miss X.
30) I will not disobey Miss X.
31) I will not disobey Miss X.
32) I will not disobey Miss X.
33) I will not disobey Miss X.
34) I will not disobey Miss X.
35) I will not disobey Miss X.
36) I will not disobey Miss X.
37) I will not disobey Miss X.
38) I will not disobey Miss X.
39) I will not disobey Miss X.
40) I will not disobey Miss X.
41) I will not disobey Miss X.
42) I will not disobey Miss X.
43) I will not disobey Miss X.
44) I will not disobey Miss X.
45) I will not disobey Miss X.
46) I will not disobey Miss X.
47) I will not disobey Miss X.
48) I will not disobey Miss X.
49) I will not disobey Miss X.
50) I will not disobey Miss X.

Yes, he did type them all himself, no copying and pasting occurred. I watched him to make sure. Also, Mr. X is a poor typist, so this was rather more punishment than you might think.